Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside!

August Bank Holiday....  

            Great British traditions.... 

Everyone delights to spend their summer's holiday 

down beside the side of the silvery sea. 

I'm no exception to the rule, in fact, if I'd my way, 

I'd reside by the side of the silvery sea.

Especially, I think, when it's a Bank Holiday weekend, and there's a bloody virus all about.....

But when you're just a common or garden Smith or Jones or Brown,

At business up in town, you've got to settle down.

You save up all the money you can till summer comes around

Then away you go to a spot you know where the cockleshells are found

This is just a £3 dish of cockles and whelks, with lots of vinegar (and grit....), from.....

But my friend....

had the works.... by which I mean, a pint of cockles, a pint of whelks, two pints of shell-on prawns, two dressed crabs, two punnets of jellied eels, some smoked mackerel, and almost everything else that was on offer (though I lost count.....)

Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside! 

I do like to be beside the sea! 

Oh I do like to stroll along the Prom, Prom, Prom! 

Where the brass bands play, "Tiddely-om-pom-pom!"

So just let me be beside the seaside! 

I'll be beside myself with glee 

and there's lots of girls beside, 

I should like to be beside, beside the seaside, 

beside the sea!

Timothy went to Blackpool for the day last Eastertide 

To see what he could see by the side of the sea.

As soon as he reached the station there the first thing he espied

Was the wine lodge door stood open invitingly

Grinning to himself, he toddled inside and called out for a wine

Which grew to eight or nine, till his nose began to shine.

Said he 'What people see in the sea, I'm sure I fail to see'

Then he caught the train back home again and to his wife said he

Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside! 

I do like to be beside the sea! 

Oh I do like to stroll along the Prom, Prom, Prom! 

Where the brass bands play, "Tiddely-om-pom-pom!"

So just let me be beside the seaside! 

I'll be beside myself with glee 

and there's lots of girls beside, 

I should like to be beside, beside the seaside, 

beside the sea!

William Sykes the burglar he'd been out to work one night

filled his bags with jewels, cash and plate. 

Constable Brown felt quite surprised when William hove in sight. 

Said he, "The hours you're keeping are far too late." 

So he grabbed him by the collar and lodged him safe and sound in jail. 

Next morning looking pale, Bill told a tearful tale. 

The judge said, "For a couple of months I'm sending you away!" 

Said Bill, "How kind! Well if you don't mind, Where I spend my holiday!"

Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside! 

I do like to be beside the sea! 

For the sun's always shining as I make my way,

And the brass bands play, "Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay"

So just let me be beside the seaside! 

I'll be beside myself with glee 

and there's lots of girls beside, 

I should like to be beside, beside the seaside, 

beside the sea!

I have to say I love it, and I wouldn't trade it for all the tea in China (nor for all the Novichok (which actually means 'newcomer') in Russia, or elsewhere.....

"I Do Like to Be Beside the Seaside is a popular British music hall song. It was written in 1907 by John Glover-Kind and made famous by music hall singer Mark Sheridan who first recorded it in 1909. It speaks of the singer's love for the seaside, and his wish to return there for his summer holidays each year. It was composed at a time when the yearly visits of the British working-class to the seaside were booming.

"It was, for a long time, used as a signature tune by Reginald Dixon MBE, who was the resident organist at the Tower Ballroom, Blackpool, between 1930-70."

(Thank you Wikipedia)