Fax of Life

 Always Look on the Bright Side......

I was never a huge fan of Eric Idle, but I did spend many an evening in the '70s with my friend Duncan and a bottle of 140 proof Polish Pure Spirit, laughing carelessly at Monty Python's Flying Circus.....

I also cannot confess to being abducted by the charms of The Life of Brian, but I will say that Idle's concluding song as he is crucified remains with me, if only for its catchy refrain.  The lyrics may not be up there with the greatest poets, but the cheeky, whistle-along, upturned sentiments provide something of a fillip....

And we need catchy refrains and fillips these days.....

[Duncan, by the way, worked, in a pin stripe suit, for the local authority in Preston; he once recounted to me a day when he had had to appraise a policeman's accommodation.  He sat on a sofa between the copper and his wife, while the former rolled a sizeable joint.  I don't know why? the rozzer lamented, but we don't seem to have many friends....

Duncan later moved to Finland, where, he reported, nothing happened during the week.  At the weekends, I heard, people endeavoured to become as drunk as possible and to make as much love as was available....  

I haven't heard from him since.]

Finland, Finland, Finland

The country where I quite want to be

Your mountains so lofty

Your treetops so tall

Finland, Finland, Finland

Finland has it all, Finland has it all

Michael Palin

Amanita Muscaria (Fly Agaric) is in season. A fungus associated with elves and fairy tales.  It has a long history of use in religious ceremonies, particularly in Asia. For over 4,000 years it was the ingredient in a sacred and hallucinogenic ritual drink called soma in India and Iran; while the Siberian shamans would give it out as a gift, sometimes via their own urine, in northern winter..... 

One year I collected a grand crop of these attractive mushrooms, and baked them in the oven.  They sort of melted into a confection of brown sludge.  Despite an inclination to sample such, I decided it was better medicine to bin them all....

But then poppies, late flowering specimens here anticipating the armistice, also have their secrets.....

But then, narcotic or hallucinogen, you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind is blowing....

Hey!  These are the fax of life.....

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

Some things in life are bad

They can really make you mad

Other things just make you swear and curse

When you're chewing on life's gristle

Don't grumble, give a whistle

And this'll help things turn out for the best

And

Always look on the bright side of life

Always look on the light side of life

These are dark days, and for many they are darker than for me, or you. I worry about some of our leaders, whose busy lives and limited incomes must make them so unhappy.....

Amanda and I walk in the bright autumnal woods. Nothing is what it seems. The turning leaves lunge at us, or speed past as if there was no tomorrow....

I note a holly tree, the bright berries symbolic of a famous sacrifice some generations ago. They whistle past me, like shot from a 12 gauge tearing life from limb....

One of my favourite trees won't stand still.  Life is alive, bright, quick and sparkling. It's not how I think I feel, but as I watch this tree dancing its lonely one-step, I wonder....

Beech leaves similarly dazzle me.....

And a silver birch rushes past me, glad to be alive.....

If life seems jolly rotten

There's something you've forgotten

And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing

You know the old chestnuts are the best....

Though, yes, there may always be a sting somewhere.....

Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true

You'll see it's all a show

Keep 'em laughin' as you go

Just remember that the last laugh is on you

I take some solace in the colours of nature, the vibrance of life as it turns.  The seasons work their magic, touches of hope at the end of every tunnel.  

All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.

I take some solace in that billions have died - all those that went before, have gone and none complain.  And I take solace in that within another few decades all - Trump, Johnson, Cummings, Gove, Patel, Corbyn, Putin, Jimmy Carr, and me - will be dust.... And few will care - least of all us.....

You know, you come from nothing

You're going back to nothing

What have you lost? Nothing

Always look on the right side of life

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die......

A Hard Rain

I heard 10,000 whispering as no one was listening

A hard rain is coming - it's going to fall.  We've all had enough of everything, whether it's SPADs or viruses... Lock downs, masks, and closures....

I heard one person dying, I heard many people laughing....

The woods are calling.  The selva oscura beckons, with all the attractions of darkness and tangle.... The sinewy ranks of hornbeam welcome me....

But....  it's not time, it's not time.  Whatever the lure, responsibility hauls us back.  The web is sticky....

The comforts of home.  The glass that is more than half full.  There are things to be thankful for....

I cut Amanda's toe nails this evening.  After supper.  Watching tv.  We've been married some 36 years, and I think this is the first time I've done that.  I was thinking, the other morning, after I had clipped her finger nails.....  I wonder if her toe nails need attention?  Then, I realised, when I was bathing her earlier, that they needed cutting.  Never occurred to me before.  Like I only started washing her hair some months ago.  After the swimming pool closed.

Funny how time plays tricks like that.

Funny how roles change.  Life changes.  Life kinda runs out.....

Or maybe it's not funny.

I'm not laughing.

We're all caught in the web.....

Or perhaps we aren't?

Today I read The Observer.  John Lydon (aka Johnnie Rotten of the Sex Pistols) is the sole carer for his partner, Nora, who has dementia.  He is quoted as saying, I understand that there are instances where people just can't cope, they don't have the capability.  But at the moment, I do, and I'm doing the best I can with that.  I'm actually quite happy.....

This is love, the hard years, the big test?....  Everything is a test.  You've got to solve these problems. You can't just run away and hide.  You've got to meet it head-on, get on with it.  Sorry, there it is.  These are the cards handed to you and you'd better play the game....

He has reason.  As is said in Italy.  You can't just run and hide.

He also says, when asked if he has lost his life partner.  I haven't lost her, no, no, no.  She's going through some traumas.  Bits of memories are fading, slowly but surely, and will probably all be gone eventually.  But I'm making sure it's a happy journey and not a sad one.....

Good for you, Johnnie.

Someone who works for the Alzheimer's Society once told me that they have a saying. When you've met one person with dementia......  You've met one person with dementia.

We are all pretty vacant.

Or perhaps not?

Amanda is 66.  She first saw a doctor about her memory difficulties about ten years ago.  Various people asked her numerous questions and eventually she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease.  She was 'treated' with Donepezil for a year, but 'we' were not satisfied with the diagnosis, and eventually the doctor agreed to refer her to a neurologist.  So, after various people had asked her numerous questions, and her brain had been scanned, etc, her diagnosis was changed to Fronto-temporal dementia, semantic variant, and put under the supervision of the National Hospital For Neurology and Neurosurgery, Queen Square, London.

It is possible that her dementia was triggered by an auto-immune infection, but it is now too late to test for this.  

It is also possible that Donepezil made her condition worse.

But all that is in the long lost past.

It is possible that she will have another ten years deteriorating.....

As with John Lydon and Nora, we have to be grateful that things could be worse.  Others with similar conditions to Amanda spend their days running up and down stairs, or binge eating, or making noises.  

Amanda likes walking, and dancing. She is a sweet natured girl. When we see others out walking, she says, Oh you have a nice, happy time, thank you....  Yes you have a nice happy time....

To everyone we meet.

And the other thing she says, is: Those little things over there - not too bad.  Not too bad.

And that's it.  Pretty much the whole range of her speech these days.  

There's no point in asking

You'll get no reply

Oh just remember I don't decide

I got no reason it's all too much

You'll always find us

Out to lunch

Oh we're so pretty

Oh so pretty

We're vacant

Oh we're so pretty

Oh so pretty

- vacant

Glen Matlock / Paul Spencer Cook / Steve Jones / John Lydon

Get thee glass eyes, and like a scurvy politician, seem to see the things thou dost not.

William Shakespeare

King Lear, Act 4, Scene 6