Dignity in Dying.....

Another one bites the dust.....

 

The Grim Reaper has struck again – in my family, twice in six months.  First Amanda, my partner of some forty-five years.  Now, Meadow, our cat, my friend for nearly seventeen.

 

Some may say there’s a difference, and, of course, there is, but having lost my wife in February, it seems a cruel twist of fate to lose my remaining housemate so soon after.

 

Not everyone will agree with me – they rarely do – but I don’t see life as being anthropocentric. Yes, OK, I will admit that I am a little wary of total equality – I mean, I will swat a mosquito against the hotel wall if it needles my sleep, and I think I would prefer a world without crocodiles or slugs – but that apart, life is life and this world only makes sense because there is life on it (for the moment).  

 

I am not a Jain, nor am I vegan, but I do sometimes feel sorry for the carrot I chop up into my pasta sauce.  But, bear with me, that is not the point of this piece, (you sigh?)

 

The simple point is that our cat died quietly and simply with a lethal injection administered by the vet, here, in my study, just two hours ago. She had been ill for a while, losing weight and eventually not eating or even drinking.  The vet believed she had a lymphoma in her intestines. I tried to nurse her (the cat....), but she lost strength and agility and became thin and very unsteady.  Although I would (I think) have preferred Meadow to shuffle off in her sleep, oblivious of anything but cat dreams, organisms don’t usually do that, as they struggle to survive (otherwise some would not live at all).

 

As indeed was the case with Amanda.  Her diagnosis of dementia came in in her mid-fifties, her death at the age of sixty-nine.  The first few years were manageable, though little difficulties became big ones, and slowly she lost the capacity to speak or to reason, or to look after herself.  The last few years were a torment for her, unable to communicate and eventually unable to move.  

From this......

Yes, I appreciate there are many reasonable arguments against pulling the plug on a human life.  Yes, it is somewhat different to that of a pet animal – not least in that no relative is going to say they disagree....  But, although Amanda and I never actually discussed assisted dying – and that may well have been because we didn’t realise how it was going to be until it was too late – I am confident that had she been able to speak or write or communicate in some way, she would have asked to be released from the mortal coil long before the agonies took her breath away.

 

To this......

And I know that when my time approaches, if I am able, I will book myself a place in Switzerland, or Belgium, or wherever will have me, to avoid the indignity and the pain of an extended demise.

 

Meadow was suffering, but she faced her end with a calm resignation.  No fuss.  No attempt to have one last chase around the garden. She went willingly (or so I imagine).  If only Amanda could have called in the vet..... 

 

Now rest in peace, my loves.  Thank you both for all the years of love and happiness. 

 

For what it is worth, I would support the legalisation of assisted dying. I would advocate safeguards, though I don’t think it should be made too complicated.  If possible, the dyee (is there such a word) should be able to have an opinion, but where this isn’t possible, then the next of kin should have a say, and at least two doctors should also be consulted.  I don’t (yet) know how the system works in Switzerland, Belgium or other countries, but it would seem that it has been working for some time and I haven’t read about too many people who have requested a reversal of the deed.

 

I suspect that one of the obstacles in this country may be our parliamentary system where Members of Parliament are fearful of making decisions (or taking stands) that may be either against their party lines or potentially unpopular. There are also religious considerations, but I personally don’t believe that any god should have the last word, so, even though you may believe that, please keep it to yourself. 

 

So, if Meadow can be relieved of her suffering in such a clean, painless and dignified way, why the hell can’t I?

 

RIP Meadow Gibbs

*****

Post Script:  I have just read today about the ordeals of Miranda Tuckett and Sue Lawford, both of whom were arrested and held in cells after returning from accompanying a British woman who took her life at Dignitas in Switzerland. They were arrested and investigated on suspicion of encouraging suicide. Miranda Tuckett, who is researching a doctoral thesis on Britons going to Switzerland to take their own lives, is bringing a high court claim for damages abasing Dyfed-Powys police for false imprisonment, breach of her academic freedoms and assault and battery (The Guardian).

 

Assisted dying in this country is not without its history and it is time to legalise it.  I once knew a nurse (whose father, for the record, was a prison governor) who told me that in her hospital it was not uncommon for doctors to write on severely ill patient’s notes, Brompton Cocktail, TLC.  She was in no doubt that the dose administered was intended to be fatal.

 

This is what Wikipedia has to say:

 

Brompton cocktail, sometimes called Brompton mixture or Brompton's cocktail, was an elixir meant for use as a pain suppressant dosed for prophylaxis. Made from morphine or diacetylmorphine (heroin), cocaine, highly-pure ethyl alcohol (some recipes specify gin), and sometimes with chlorpromazine (Thorazine) to counteract nausea, it was given to terminally-ill individuals (especially cancer patients) to relieve pain and promote sociability near death. A common formulation included "a variable amount of morphine, 10 mg of cocaine, 2.5 mL of 98% ethyl alcohol, 5 mL of syrup BP and a variable amount of chloroform water." Brompton's cocktail was given most in the mid twentieth century. It is now considered obsolete.

 

In popular culture it also came to be associated with medical euthanasia. According to legend (and perhaps in fact) doctors would provide a large dose to terminally ill patients who wished to die.

 

I’ll have mine with ice and a twist of lemon, thanks.....

Every eight days a Briton travels to Dignitas for help to die. The absence of an assisted dying law forces dying people to take drastic measures to control their death.  

For more on this, please see:

https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/why-we-need-change/dignitas/